Beam Me Up!

So the Boy Child is running for class president. I don't think you can imagine how involved this is. He has a campaign manager.... no really. We've made signs and pencil toppers, today he is handing out candy. He also has to write and give a speech. I tried VERY hard to get him to plagiarize this. He wouldn't have any of it. This is very serious business to him.

I grew up obsessed with genius-madman Jim Traficant. THE voice, face, and hair of politics where I hail from. If you know nothing about the man, I beg you to search out more. If nothing else you will be entertained. So what if he was convicted of racketeering, part of one of the most corrupt and dangerous precincts of the time, or a terrible judge of fashion? The things he talked about way back when are freakishly relevant now, even though he was considered a side-show act then.

I will never forget the first time teen-aged Pops walked into the room and realized I was glued to C-SPAN. The look of horror and confusion on his face was priceless. I told him to shut up and just watch Jimbo. He was mesmerized! Politicians just did not behave that way where he was from. Honestly I didn't even realize Traficant did not represent "normal" politics until that moment. Pops became a fan right then and there, and has even gone so far as to try to win some prison painted artwork. (Yes, our newscasters DO have names like Stan Boney.)

What does any of this have to do with a 5th grade class election? Nothing, really. Except there have been accusations of racketeering & strong-arming votes. The real importance of this election to me is that the Boy who we thought would never speak; the one that was in speech therapy for so many years; the child that I was sure I would have to go along with to college to interpret for is not nervous to give a speech in front of his entire class! Talk about progress.


The strangest part of this whole thing is that The Boy Child loves me so much that he really thought my homemade health-food muffins would win him votes. The very same muffins that contain not only graham flour, but also copious amounts of fiber and wheat germ. It is so funny to me what can become your "normal" just because it is from home. I guess just like Old Jim's toupee!

Our anticipation waiting to see what happens on Sept. 2nd. is almost as high as waiting to see what happens in the election today!

Won't you believe it? Its just my luck.

So last week was back to school "daze". Don't they look so pumped? Bershon through-and-through. Its o.k., they come by it honestly. (can we have a moment of silence for the waist that was in that last one?.... amen.) Somehow I ended up behind the eight ball with the shopping and planning. I wanted to post a picture of the HUGE pile of loot that it takes to get 3 kids ready to return to school, but it turns out one can't hold a camera steady one-handed because they had to hack off the other one and give it to Dickies as payment. FirstBorn still ended up in ISS her first day of High School for being out of uniform. (that is not THE belt)



MiddleChild missed her first day because of back-to-back (to back) doctors appointments. As has been the norm, these doctors appointments have found additional problems that don't answer any of the original questions. When she did attend school on Day 2, she went with stitches in her arm. I would have liked to keep her home because of them, but since she will be missing so many other days I had no choice. She was only bumped in the arm a "zillion" times, but claims it only hurt a little bit. Which means it didn't hurt at all or there would have been a teary phone call home for me to come and get her.

Friday was my first child-less day in months. It should have been a delicious day spent doing whatever I chose... and lets face it, that means BoomHeadshot. Instead it was a day spent in bed tired as all get out; but unable to sleep. Why couldn't a person who was beyond tired sleep? Since it is back to school time, I will leave the class with this equation Stress + multiple doctors/hospital visits -healthful food = ???. Gotcha! The real question is how many people understood the title in relation to this post without googling? It is what ran through my head when walking up to Open House at the High School. High School!