Le matou revient le jour suivant.

So ShedKitty is either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. This morning Heinz chased him up this tree. This has been one of many close calls for ShedKitty. I'm fairly certain that Heinz has gotten a hold of this particular cat's tail before. You would think it would learn. This is the same cat that likes to parade back and forth under the front window where Heinz watches the world. I can think of no reason to do this other than to torture the poor dog.


I also can not think of another single thing I can do to discourage these cats from our yard. I like cats, I really do. But I will feel absolutely no heartbreak for this particular cat when it finally gets its comeuppance.

We get by with a little help from.... strangers?

It is never a good sign when you show up to your first football game of the season and the team you are playing against has this many championship signs around the field. This is the only team that we knew would give us trouble after playing them in scrimmages. We tied them then. Yesterday we weren't so lucky. At least it wasn't a complete shut-out, which it could have easily been.

This should be a picture of BoyChild scoring for the first time this season. It didn't work out that way. He is #68 here, they had to change jerseys because the other team was also black and yellow. This caused MAJOR trouble for the coaches, because none of them bothered to make a list of the number switches and most of the boys had no idea what their "new" numbers were.

The other team was filled with really good sports. I was so glad when the other coach stepped in and helped our team. I'm sure our coaches weren't. There were so many little mistakes caused by them our team really didn't have a chance. Apparently no one on the coaching staff knows how to count (or to listen to the parents when they are ALL screaming things like "too many kids" "coach, we've got 13 out there!"). They also don't know what defer means, which is fine, but don't yell at the refs when it is your mistake.... especially when the refs tried to guide you into making the correct decision!

Now onto the BigMama part of the day. My dear husband found out that Savannah has a roller derby team, and since he always thought it was fake in the same way t.v. wrestling is fake, he HAD to check it out himself. Everyone should already guess that -I- loved it. BoyChild did not. He was completely disturbed that "they are all wearing THONGS!" I guess I should be glad my 10 year old doesn't really know what a thong is; but we tried to explain to him that some day he will enjoy skimpily dressed ladies. He flat out refuses to believe this.



The camera was dying so our pictures are terrible. That is a wing of a Jeerleader (heee) in one of them. You can see much better pictures here, including some of us watching. (page 2, pictures 4,7, and 20) There is a particularly tall player named Mt. KillaJamma... her number is 6'1 (stop laughing my friends will height-blessed kids, that is VERY tall here!). I told FirstBorn that it's a shame her derby name was already taken. She rolled her eyes, but was later overheard asking her father how old you had to be to join. Lord help us all, she would actually be very good at this.

As we were leaving we heard/saw some RC cars. It turns out it was some sort of big championships. I don't know, but what I did find out is that it is VERY serious business and people can be pretty hurt when hit in the head with a flying car. Also, people who are working at the event will very nicely tell you that you are standing in the exact spot where someone got head-slammed by a car the night before. Thanks crazy-fast little car people! BoyChild was much more impressed by this than the derby. Thank goodness they don't drive their RC cars in "thongs". In addition to really freaking out my son; I'm pretty sure some nasty wheel burn could happen!
Speaking of very nice people. On our way home I got a call on my cellphone, turns out some AWESOME roller derby fan had found Pop's phone when it dropped out of a huge hole in his pocket. We hadn't even noticed it was missing! Amazing day, made more amazing by strangers!

I just can't live without MY Weezer!

Today is MiddleChild's birthday! 13, I can hardly believe it. She has been super-psyched about today for awhile. So excited that she came tearing off the bus whooohoooing and running. I know this because her brother and I were waiting right inside to surprise her. We heard her running, then 2 wooohooo's, then we heard a big splat followed by the tires of her bus screeching. Luckily it was only because her wonderful bus driver saw her fall in the driveway and stopped to see if she was alright. She bit it really hard. So hard that her elbow is super gross, so gross that I'm going to share a picture with you. You're welcome!



(that's not the worst of it btw.)

The only cure for a road rash is apparently opening presents. Sometimes it is a perfectly good present, but it isn't THE ONE.




When you get to the one present that you have been DREAMING about.... well the only thing to do is jump up, make the international ka-ching sign/sound, and fan yourself with your itunes gift card. DUH, everyone knows that.





Then you MUST finally face your public and talk on the phone with your adoring fans for hours on end.... reliving every single second of your day. Including the fall, which you just mention as an aside. There is no reason to let half your elbow missing spoil an otherwise great day!



On the other hand, its been a rough day for Heinz. He clearly isn't used to all this excitement; he also doesn't approve of not being the center of attention at all times. Another thing he doesn't "get" is why he isn't allowed to fix MiddleChild's arm by licking the crap out of it. Poor dear.



The title to this was her answer when her father asked what music she wanted put onto her ipod. You see when she was about 5 her all time favorite song was Hash Pipe. Yes she sang it at school. Yes there was concern. Explaining what the song is really about is of no help in this situation... just FYI.

Ghetto ball.

Footie on a roller hockey rink? In skinny jeans? Sure, we don't even need shoes! When the winners have been promised a Cold Treat, anything can happen.

Football 2 ways.

So the most exciting time of the year has begun! The extra special months of having 3 kids in 2 different sports. The girls are in soccer (and on the same team!); so that makes it fairly simple. The Boy Child plays football this season, and to make it REALLY interesting for me his team is traveling to all corners of Georgia this year. This traveling nonsense was not mentioned during sign-ups. You can imagine how thrilled I was when I found out. I'm still not sure how it is all going to work out but we survived the first major weekend a week ago.


(for the record I had NOTHING to do with the unlucky #13 jersey.... no really I didn't)

After cleat drama, uniform pickups and only a few practices; it was game(s) on! They call this weekend Jamboree. I could not tell you why. It is all day scrimmages.... ALL day. This took place about 1 1/2 away from the house. All in all I suppose it wasn't that bad, I can say that now because it is over and no one got hurt. We ended up playing really well (3/0/1), even though the other teams are allowed a lot more practices. It is going to be an interesting season.


The "men" in the house loved it of course. They felt so terrible this weekend when they had to return to just WATCHING football all day. Even -I- was impressed with class of the fans/players today. John Glenn dotting the "i" was an especially awesome choice! I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that someone thought the fans had to be REMINDED to behave. What exactly were they expecting from the best fans in the land? With that being said.... We don't give a damn for the whole state of michigan.... the whole state of michigan.

Beam Me Up!

So the Boy Child is running for class president. I don't think you can imagine how involved this is. He has a campaign manager.... no really. We've made signs and pencil toppers, today he is handing out candy. He also has to write and give a speech. I tried VERY hard to get him to plagiarize this. He wouldn't have any of it. This is very serious business to him.

I grew up obsessed with genius-madman Jim Traficant. THE voice, face, and hair of politics where I hail from. If you know nothing about the man, I beg you to search out more. If nothing else you will be entertained. So what if he was convicted of racketeering, part of one of the most corrupt and dangerous precincts of the time, or a terrible judge of fashion? The things he talked about way back when are freakishly relevant now, even though he was considered a side-show act then.

I will never forget the first time teen-aged Pops walked into the room and realized I was glued to C-SPAN. The look of horror and confusion on his face was priceless. I told him to shut up and just watch Jimbo. He was mesmerized! Politicians just did not behave that way where he was from. Honestly I didn't even realize Traficant did not represent "normal" politics until that moment. Pops became a fan right then and there, and has even gone so far as to try to win some prison painted artwork. (Yes, our newscasters DO have names like Stan Boney.)

What does any of this have to do with a 5th grade class election? Nothing, really. Except there have been accusations of racketeering & strong-arming votes. The real importance of this election to me is that the Boy who we thought would never speak; the one that was in speech therapy for so many years; the child that I was sure I would have to go along with to college to interpret for is not nervous to give a speech in front of his entire class! Talk about progress.


The strangest part of this whole thing is that The Boy Child loves me so much that he really thought my homemade health-food muffins would win him votes. The very same muffins that contain not only graham flour, but also copious amounts of fiber and wheat germ. It is so funny to me what can become your "normal" just because it is from home. I guess just like Old Jim's toupee!

Our anticipation waiting to see what happens on Sept. 2nd. is almost as high as waiting to see what happens in the election today!

Won't you believe it? Its just my luck.

So last week was back to school "daze". Don't they look so pumped? Bershon through-and-through. Its o.k., they come by it honestly. (can we have a moment of silence for the waist that was in that last one?.... amen.) Somehow I ended up behind the eight ball with the shopping and planning. I wanted to post a picture of the HUGE pile of loot that it takes to get 3 kids ready to return to school, but it turns out one can't hold a camera steady one-handed because they had to hack off the other one and give it to Dickies as payment. FirstBorn still ended up in ISS her first day of High School for being out of uniform. (that is not THE belt)



MiddleChild missed her first day because of back-to-back (to back) doctors appointments. As has been the norm, these doctors appointments have found additional problems that don't answer any of the original questions. When she did attend school on Day 2, she went with stitches in her arm. I would have liked to keep her home because of them, but since she will be missing so many other days I had no choice. She was only bumped in the arm a "zillion" times, but claims it only hurt a little bit. Which means it didn't hurt at all or there would have been a teary phone call home for me to come and get her.

Friday was my first child-less day in months. It should have been a delicious day spent doing whatever I chose... and lets face it, that means BoomHeadshot. Instead it was a day spent in bed tired as all get out; but unable to sleep. Why couldn't a person who was beyond tired sleep? Since it is back to school time, I will leave the class with this equation Stress + multiple doctors/hospital visits -healthful food = ???. Gotcha! The real question is how many people understood the title in relation to this post without googling? It is what ran through my head when walking up to Open House at the High School. High School!