Get the camera!!

Anyone who knows me knows that my life can be a little crazy. It IS how I like it though. There have been several "quick, grab the camera" moments around here recently.



This one is from today. It turns out that the boy sat down on this crate thinking it was upside down. Is it wrong that I maybe ignored his cries for "help" and he had to scoot-crawl out to me? (Listen, for the past 2 months I have been with these kids 24/7. If you are yelling for me at this point someone had better be bleeding or something on fire.) Then, when I realized that there was an issue instead of helping him we all went diving for cameras? In case anyone is keeping score, you can see that clearly the dog was concerned for his well-being. I hope he mentions that to his future therapist.



I think it is best that I don't know what is happening in this picture. I really hope he never mentions THIS to his future therapist! This is what happens when you have older sisters. Yelling HELP! wouldn't have saved him in this situation either!



This is the only known picture of ShedKitty. Every summer we end up with kittens under our shed. Feral kittens and a pissed off mama. Why our shed? Why are they so mean to us when we are only trying to prevent cat-hating dogs from gobbling them up? How do they defy gravity like that when they come flying at your face? How can such a tiny kitten be so evil? It would seem that someone in this house doesn't believe ShedKitty exists. Said person was not here the last time this family lived in fear of the ShedKitties. When the family has a song created in memory of ShedKitties of the past; you had better believe ShedKitties are real, and real scary.



This was taken as photographic proof of what a feeding frenzy looks like in this house. I have on more than one occasion passed up seconds out of fear of losing a limb in the madness. It also needed to be taken to be used to torture Pops. I could hear him yelling to put all the trash back into the bags... RIGHT NOW!(even though he wasn't here.... the Pops of Christmas pasts if you will) For those of you who have no idea what those are, they are MREs. We indulge the children with them about once a year, even though they will beg for them anytime they see them. Hopefully this will not convince them that doing something like this is acceptable!

Isn't my life exciting? Wouldn't you just love to live in this crazy house? What am I going to do when they return to school and I am all alone? Who will do crazy things that need to be photographed in a hurry? Will I be able to find the camera straight -away then?

Ye Olde Timey Handlebar Moustache.

Being an "almost" 14 year old girl is a very hard thing... apparently. You have to deal with extremely strange looks when you ask the DQ if they can draw an olde timey moustache on your cake. Then, you have to settle for your mother doing it instead. Sometimes you have to suffer opening your presents early because your father is not going to be in town on your actual birthday.


You also have to pose for pictures with said cake and presents. The torture! As if these trials weren't enough, you also have to have your picture taken at your birthday dinner. But, on this magical day (and this day only), your mother will not threaten to burn all your clothes because you wore THREE different outfits in one day!!!


Happy Almost Birfday FirstBorn! I'm sorry you have it so rough!

Gardening in Georgia

Gardening here can be a daunting task. The soil is mostly sand and clay; there are often periods of drought. An ideal plan would be to plant in containers with large reservoirs for water storage. But what do you do if all the store bought planters are just not "edgy" or unique enough for you?



That's right folks, you do like the gentleman (?) up the road from me does. One has to admit that there is plenty of water storage! This judge personally deducts points for your average big-box dog warning sign though. I want to see something that strikes fear in a would-be yard enterer. Maybe something with a foamy mouth and sharp teeth showing.... oh, and the cartoon lines that give the impression of really loud barking!

Whats that? The issue at hand is a leg humping dog? OHHHH!?!?! The judge gives the full 10 point allotment then. Bravo fine sir, bravo!

Play it again Sam!

Happy 4th everyone! Although, if Sam really is trying to keep everyone safe from weirdos my family is toast.

Everyone I know needs to watch this:

The Way We Get By - a documentary film by Aron Gaudet & Gita Pullapilly about three senior citizens & Maine Troop Greeters

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....mostly because it is going to be AWESOME, but also because you are going to meet my new boyfriend. His name is Jerry... he happens to be 73; but the moment he says "Theres cellphones in there, free to use....talk all you want. Call somebody up... make 'em happy, ugly, or horny!" he steals my heart.

Transformers 2 grossed $201.2 MILLION dollars in 5 days. This movie will hardly been seen by anyone. I have to try to change that. What does Megan Fox have that Joan Gaudet doesn't? It certainly isn't heart? Get it together people, you can't possibly prefer to watch CGI robots crack jokes over real people making a huge difference. Go out of your way to watch this, and then be sure to tell everyone you know.

A HOT adventure.

Growing up I lived by some of the most amazing amusement parks. Every year for our birthday the kids in my family would receive season passes to some of them, and believe me our parents got their money's worth. I LOVE coasters and rides... except the swings, the swings are evil and should never be ridden! (you know them either as the yo-yo, the chair-o-plane, or the flying trapeze.) Avoid these rides, avoid even being a spectator near these rides; you will thank me someday. Why yes I DID have a traumatic accident on one when I was a kid, why do you ask?

Speaking of traumatizing, when my kids were all finally tall enough to ride a proper coaster I decided it needed to be wooden. So we bribed the heck out of them, and jumped on the first wooden coaster we came across. It turns out that this coaster happens to make the top 10 list for scariest coaster every year. There were actual tears, and threats to never ride another ride again. We couldn't even get them on a log ride after that. Oops! So every year we trek to some amusement park, and I end up riding the best coasters all by myself. Except this year. This year the kids are a little older, a little taller, and a little braver. This year they went on rides without any begging, bribing, or crying! It was awesome!


Aside from the fact that the heat index was 110°, the trip to Wild Adventures was great. The park is small enough that you aren't rushed to do everything, and the employees are super friendly. Because the park was so empty that day we got to ride most of the rides back-to-back, without even getting in line again. "And we're going again!" should be magic words to a ride fan, and they were... until the Double Shot.



Notice the VERY different looks on our faces? I had never ridden this ride before, which is strange because one of my all time favorites is the Demon Drop. First Born decided to ride with me, and I almost didn't because it was getting late and I figured this one was going to be too much for her. Ha! It turns out this one was a little too much for ME. I literally started to panic when it dawned on me that they might let us go back-to-back on this. I wanted off, and FAST. First Born ended up riding it twice more by herself. I think her new goal in life is to ride this. No thank-you!

.....it's my bithday too, yeah!

So today is my birthday. For Pops' birthday he wanted to go to an amusement park, so we went to Wild Adventures (more on that later). He isn't the kind of person who LOVES rides; but he loves to go to amusement parks. I will never understand this. I like my birthdays to be much more chill, even though my family usually tries to force me to celebrate somehow. It is pouring rain right now, so today hopefully I will get to do lots of this:

That is me, playing PS3, with an enormous dog in my lap. He really thinks that is a wonderful place for him to be. Neither of us are comfortable, but he would sit like that all day if I let him. Silly dog. I have no idea why it looks like he has frickin laser beams attached to his eyes, but I am not fixing it. You know why? Because it is my birthday and I don't have to if I don't want to!