Hold the phone!

I hate the phone. I think I always have, but my ire is getting progressively worse. It is the phone's fault that I am awake at 1 a.m. with nothing to do or watch. 90% of our phone calls are either because of a "problem", not for us at all, or from people we don't care to talk to. Here are some examples of calls from the last week.

• Them: "I don't need any of your fancy talk, I just need my car fixed!" This was in response to me telling the caller that they had reached a residence.
• Me: "It doesn't matter how many times you call, you will still not get more information about the bankruptcy at this number."
• Them, in the most condesending tone you can imagine: "Ma'am, incomplete means something is missing; like a piece of the jigsaw puzzle isn't there..."
• Me: "We have had this phone number for over 2 years. I really could not tell you why Clarissa keeps using it to apply for things she is not going to pay for."
• Them: "Well do you know the number to the dealership?" The sad part about this one is that I actually DO know the number to the dealership. I have decided to memorize it, hopefully that will stop them from calling the same number over and over trying to get the response they want. Considering I am dealing with people who don't understand the difference between the white pages and the yellow ones; I am not hopeful.

I wish I could fall back asleep, maybe I could dream of that elusive paradise with no phone lines or cell reception. I bet they also have pomegranates year round, an endless supply of that mascara I loved from Middle School, and Arrested Development is still in production there!