What are you feeding that kid?

I was seriously asked this after they saw TheBoy's new x-rays today. Its healing so well they've knocked 2 weeks of his cast time! When they asked me that I just laughed (I'm quite used to getting asked that about FirstBorn). Turns out they were all waiting for a real answer. TheBoy had asked me while we were waiting for the x-rays "what if its just healed, like it just fixed itself right up?" I told him that he wasn't Spiderman (Spiderman isn't known for fast healing...ooops) or David Dunn (he had no idea who this was... I hate it when people don't understand my bizarre references!), he just said "we'll see". I'm pretty sure he might think he does have super powers now.



You can't see the bruising very well in these pictures, but its BAD. It is still pretty swollen too. The worst part of it was the smell though. It was really, really horrible. I mean stomach turning. He just kept cavalierly waving his hand around because it felt so good to be out of the cast. I was holding my breath the whole time mostly hoping he wouldn't re-injure it, but really because it stunk soooo bad!


Good news like this makes me feel a little less cursed. Although we did almost have the door of Pops truck ripped off by someone flying into the parking space next to us today. TheBoy said "what are we? some kind of target?" Its not you Bubba, the bad luck is all mine!

We like the cars, the cars that go BOOM!

It was me and the posse with Bunny D. We were crusin' in the Jags or the Lamborghinis...


No, no... in reality it was TheBoyChild and me, heading to his doctors appointment. Taking a road we take all the time, and smash! Some guy just pulled out right in front of us, not like he was racing to beat us or anything. It was like my car was invisible to him. I've been saying for awhile now that my car has a cloaking device. I've just never understood why no one could see me in my bright red ride!



I slammed on my breaks, the whole car locked up; but there was just no way we were going to stop in time. This is where things get foggy. I remember him spinning, I thought he was going to slam into a nearby pole, or that another car was going to hit him coming the other way. I felt like I needed to warn him? Apparently we were spinning while this was going on, I really don't remember that at all. The next thing I do remember is trying to get out of the car to get to The Boy who was in the back. My door wouldn't open, and I just kept trying... like "WTF, why won't my door open?".

Everyone was fine, my car not so much. The other car fared MUCH better, I don't understand how. TheBoy and I were quite literally shaken up. There were lots of questions, and I know I gave some really stupid answers. "Do you have any aliases?" Me: "Huh, I'm not in a drug cartel or something... I'm just a mom!".

I called a friend, but thought the call didn't go through.... it did. She got to hear what was going on, and when she called back I couldn't figure out how she sorta knew what was happening. I was literally looking around the scene for her. She asked me if I needed a Coke. Which triggered me to remember right after it happened I went back to the car (and tried to open my door again, duh!) to get a Coke. I forced The Boy to chug some. "The sugar will make us feel better!" I might have offered the other driver a drink out of the can too, and shared my theory with him. I'm a moron!

Word so far is that my car is totaled. This pisses me off like you can't believe. I love that car. That car was supposed to go to FirstBorn when she learned to drive. I own that damn car, mine all mine. I know that I should be grateful that all I have is some banged up knees and blister-type stuff on my fingers from my death-grip on the steering wheel; but I want my salsa red grocery getter back!

True Pain.

So The Boy had a game on Saturday. Of course we went. Do you really think a silly cast would get me off the hook for such things? Ha!

After some drama about what he should wear (I'm pretty sure Pops really thought he would try to sneak him into the game! Still not sure how they through they were going to pull that one off?), there was some of this:


Then some of this:


Then came the moment all fathers fear.


The thing is, if you gotta be the waterboy... you gotta hold that head up and hustle! I'm trying to pretend it is an important life-lesson. What everyone around me seems to think is that it is a future blackmailing opportunity.

It was heartbreaking to watch. The team got shut-out. Now, I'm not saying they lost because my kid wasn't playing....but MAYBE I implied it to cheer someone up.

That someone was Pops.

Soccer game, what soccer game?

Here are some clearer pictures from soccer. I did not take these, a 10 year old girl did. I don't know what that says about my photographic prowess; but it can't be good.



These poor boys trying to just eat their snacks are always teased by the younger team mates. "Youuuuu have a crushhhh on FirstBorn." "Youuuuu wanna get marrieddddd." Everyone seems to take it well except for Pops and me. Someone felt so left out by this that she loudly announced that SHE had a crush on one of them. My children are nothing if not smooth!



FirstBorn is always denying any of this nonsense. Here she is in action saying, "Whoa, whoa, whoa... we just play soccer together! That is all, why does everyone keep saying that?"


When I was a wee lass my mother always told me "think college, not boys". I've tried out several versions of this out on my girls, and have gotten almost exactly the same response I can remember giving her. They know for sure they want to be "like a boss" though, here they are practicing:


I'm just glad there is no Deborah where Pops works, who knows what they would have done then!

Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

So on the last play of practice yesterday BoyChild hurt his hand. He of course made no mention of this when it happened. He hustled right over and huddled up for the practice review. When he ran over to meet Pops he said "My hand kinda hurts?". So Pops looked at it and knew instantly something was wrong. He called me and told me that he was going to take the Boy to the E.R. and have it looked at. I scoffed at this, it was nearly 8p.m. and he had been at work since 4 a.m.


They returned around 10:30, with a note to make a follow up with orthopedics, some Vitamin M, and a crazy bandaged arm. Pops told me he broke his thumb above the knuckle, he most likely wouldn't get seen until next week, and the pain wasn't that bad. So with little fanfare I sent the boy to bed, because he had a BIG day at school in the morning!

The next morning I got up and started the phone shuffle. Turns out they need to see him NOW. Well I've already sent him to school because this wasn't supposed to be a big deal, but off to the hospital we go. We are taken right back. I think "Huh, this is weird usually we wait FOREVER!". So there are doctors huddled around someone's X-rays they are discussing surgery. I'm glad we don't have to go through that.... wait, what? That's MY kid you are talking about?

After more discussion they tell me that they could try to manipulate the joint/broken bits and then cast it instead. They left this decision up to me? I keep forgetting I attended medical school that one time. But it did sound better than surgery; well until I saw the huge needle and exactly how much numbing stuff they were shooting into him. It wasn't pretty, but apparently he is 10 now and not to be babied or comforted in any way (Pops came in right as this started). Also, never suggest to a boy that they can be the Water Boy for their team. This is highly insulting.

So 6 weeks of cast & 2 more of some kind of splint... unless he does something stupid to re-injure it, then surgery is the only option. Pops sees no reason he can't play in his game tomorrow. Pops might end up knocked out. The Boy is as thrilled about the whole thing as he looks below.

Bleacher Butt.

Over the weekend BoyChild had a football game. This time it was in a huge high school stadium, and were those boys ever impressed. The team they played was pretty good, and the game turned into a nail-biter. Boychild was really on his game and figured out the other team pretty quickly. In the picture below he read that play like a Captain Underpants book. I just love it when the boys catch onto the game and really start playing.

It turns out that I really love it when MY son scores. This picture was taken right before his first time scoring a touchdown EVER! Since he usually plays on the line he has never been concerned with scoring before, and we have never gotten to feel the rush of pride when your kid takes it over for 6. Which explains why there are no pictures of the actual event. Even his sisters were impressed.


See how none of the kids are paying attention in the last picture? That is because they are getting chewed out for winning? I have no idea, it was halftime and they were up in points. They had been playing better than they had ever played, and yet they were getting yelled at? It is no surprise that after this there was a severe decrease in their enthusiasm. It nearly cost them the game. The kid to the left of The Boy in this picture had one of those tackles where everyone in both sides of the stadium lets out a big grunt of pain. Pretty awesome though. Someone tackled my "baby" in such a weird painful looking way during this game that it made me hate football for a little while. Football is a rough sport yo! More on that later.

What about soccer? Well it turns out all our soccer pictures pretty much look like this:



I can't tell you why, other than our camera is possessed and just prefers football. I do have a clear picture of me developing bleacher butt. Bleacher butt is a painful condition caused by sitting through many hours of practices and games in the name of parental pride. It is also the only reason I can come up with for the look on my
face.


I also can't explain why all the pictures in this post are a jumbled mess. I don't have the time or patience to try and fix it right now though. I am going to have to scoot off here and leave for yet another doctors appointment. That is if I can ever get through to an actual person to make the appointment. This entire post was written while on hold. On hold even after I was given the super secret code to punch in to avoid a long wait time by the ER. It is going to be a great day, I can just tell!